Twillow
by KebbyElizabeth
Summary: A collection of Twillow one shots, set in various episodes/seasons with some AU thrown in there. Possible two shots depending on opinion. Warning: Be prepared for Fluff, lots and lots of Fluff R&R
1. Since the day you left me

**A/N Fluffy Twillow one/two shots, because I'm a secret romantic and all 3 and… it's also a writer's block buster xD**

_Background: set three weeks after 'seeing red', slightly dark, still T rated. R&R_

Since the day you left me

Willow Rosenberg opened the door of her bedroom and sighed. It was empty. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting but there was still a sense of disappointment when there was no brunette waiting for her. It had been three weeks but the feeling never went away.

She ran her hand through her red tresses and closed the door silently behind her. The room was cold and it felt unfamiliar, even though she had lived at the Summers house for some time now, it just didn't feel like home anymore without her soul mate.

The Wicca sat on the edge of her bed and studied her room. Nothing had changed, not really, but it felt like everything was different. She could feel the tears begin to build in her eyes again, like they had every night for the last three weeks. Her heart hurt. Everything hurt, it was like she had lost half of herself and it felt like she would never recover from it.

Buffy had tried to take her mind off of Tara, so had Dawn, and Xander, but nothing they did could take the red heads mind away from it for very long. In the end the three of them stopped trying really. Of course they still gave her the encouraging smile and they tried to make it seem as if everything was going to be okay. But the red head could just tell that they had given up. She knew they wouldn't do it on purpose, but it was hard to get people to eat when they really didn't want to, or to simply get them out of bed in the morning when all they wanted to do was sleep forever, to dream of memories and leave the harsh reality behind.

"We were supposed to be forever," she sniffed. "Why did you leave me, baby? You were just gone like…." her arms waved unenthusiastically in the air. "…Poof."

She couldn't help but believe that it was all her fault, if only she had never abused the magic. If only she had done more to help Buffy track down Warren. If only she hadn't let Tara be in danger all of the time. If only, if only, if only – there was always an 'if only'. What if she had never met Buffy in the first place? If on that day she had just run from the vampires instead of sticking around to poke her nosey nose into the situation. What if she had chosen Oz? Fallen in love with Oz instead of Tara… at least Tara would still be alive.

She shook the last thought from her mind, there was no doubt that she would always fall for Tara – no matter how many times she replayed the memories. Willow knew in her heart, no, in her soul, that her and Tara were meant to be and no matter what they would have ended up together.

But she couldn't get the thoughts from her head. The red head kept coming up with situations that would have saved the brunette and how it had to be her fault that her soul-mate was gone.

The memories haunted her during the day. At night she dreamt of her and Tara, back in their dorm at UC Sunnydale – how perfect it had been. But the day, the day was different. Dark feelings followed her around like a cloud, covering everything she did and filling her mind with how Tara, wherever she was, must hate her for what she did. How could she not? Tara was dead because of her, because of the magic, because of the slaying… because of Buffy and the Scoobies.

In the end the Wicca couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They flowed steadily and unhindered down her face. She curled up on her side and shamelessly sobbed into the quilt. How did it get this bad? Sure, she had almost died plenty of times, as had Xander and Buffy and little Dawnie… but no one had ever actually died. Why did it have to be Tara? Tara who never hurt anyone, who wouldn't, couldn't hurt anyone. The only one keeping her grounded – the only reason she had to quit the magic. Without Tara she would never have had the motive to stop.

She felt so alone.

Tara's name left her lips over and over as she shook on the covers of the bed. If there was anyone else in the house this was the point they would normally enter and bundle the small witch into their arms and hold her until she fell asleep. There were never any words, they didn't need to speak. But there was no one in the house, Dawn was at school, Buffy was out doing whatever it was that Buffy did those days. She wasn't even sure where or what Xander was doing, but for the moment she really couldn't bring herself to care.

As the tears slowed and the sobs that wracked her frail body subsided she felt the familiar exhaustion begin to claim her. Her tired green eyes only saw the blur of her room as they closed, almost against her will, and it wasn't long before sleep claimed her.

/\/\

Warm arms wrapped their way around Willow's waist, hugging her close into an equally warm body. Soft lips began to whisper sweet nothings against the skin of the red head's cream coloured neck. She didn't want to open her eyes; it always went away when she opened her eyes.

Every curve of the girl behind her was familiar, every smell and every touch. It made her heart ache because she knew that the second she opened her eyes it would end all over again. She didn't understand it. Willow wasn't even sure if she wanted to understand it for she didn't really want to think about it too much at all – afraid that the moment she would try to explain it she would go away.

Soft warmth began to spread through her body. There was no urgency when her lover's lips connected with her skin, only pure undiluted love, comfort and safety. No matter how bad things got, the second she was in her arms everything was okay, everything was safe and quiet and loving. Willow moaned almost inaudibly when the girl's lips moved along her shoulder and then back up toward her ear, nipping and kissing her way along the red heads skin.

The entire world could fade away, fall victim to another apocalypse or explode and Willow wouldn't care. Just as long as this moment was happening, as long as Tara was there, she didn't care. When Tara was there she was whole.

Eventually the feeling became too much and Willow moved her hand in search of the girl behind her. She was almost certain that all she would find would be air and the magic would be lost, but when she reached over her fingers met the cotton of a t-shirt and the warm body it encased. The red head kept her eyes closed, hardly daring to breathe. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be Tara, could it? No. Tara was dead, it couldn't be her. It couldn't be her.

"Willow," the girl whispered against her skin. It sounded so similar to her soul mate, but she refused to allow herself to hope.

She clenched her fists, balling the clothes into her hands. "You're not real. You can't be real." The girl didn't reply but instead pressed her lips to Willows pulse point, drawing a low moan from the red head. "You're not here, I'm dreaming, you're not here, you have to be…. Oh…"

Her flow was interrupted by the girl's hand wandering down her side and caressing her thigh. She could no longer form coherent thoughts as the girl's fingers walked over Willow's legs. They moved up to the waist band of Willow's pants and fingered under the edge's, each touch making Willow sigh and squirm against the covers.

"I missed you," Willow whispered, tears forming in her eyes again. "I missed you so much Tara, why did you leave me?"

"I'm here darling," the girl whispered, moving her mouth to Willow's ear.

"Why are you here?" Willow asked. Her breath hitched in her throat as the girl's fingers dipped into her pants and played with the edge of her boxer shorts.

"Open your eyes sweetie," she replied, pressing her lips to Willow's forehead.

The red head clenched them shut. "No, you'll leave. I need you Tara, don't leave me again."

"Open your eyes."

Willow felt the girl move from behind her and the weight shift off the bed. She whimpered at the loss of contact but seconds later the girl had repositioned herself in front of her. The girl's leg moved between the red head's and she rested her forehead against Willow's. "Open your eyes."

The Wicca shook her head and bit her lip. She wanted nothing else but to see Tara's blue eyes again, to sink into those bottomless orbs and never come out but she was still convinced that this wasn't real. Tara was dead. No matter how wonderful, how brilliant, how warm and…

Slowly her eyes cracked open, the light blinded her at first, and no matter how hard she hoped that she would see her soul-mate she couldn't shake the feeling that when she opened her eyes all she would see would be air and Tara would be gone. She couldn't handle her being gone again. It happened every time, and every time it ripped a new hole in the red heads heart.

But she wasn't hurt, as she opened her eyes there was defiantly a body blocking her view of the wall. Her eyes mapped out the familiar neck and chest of the woman she loved so much. She let out the breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding and her vision moved slowly up towards her lovers face. There was the crooked smile that made her heart sore into the air and there were those perfect eyes.

"B…But how?" Willow stammered. Her gaze moved down from Tara's face to her chest and her fingers pulled the neck of the brunettes shirt down, touching the skin where the… where the bullet had taken her soul-mate away from her. There was no mark, no scar, absolutely nothing. Nothing to signify that it had ever happened, expect for the heartache of the last three weeks.

"I don't think I've ever seen you speechless baby," Tara giggled. "I missed your babble though."

There was more proof that it really had happened. Her lover had missed her, and in order to miss her she had to have gone somewhere. Like a dead somewhere. A somewhere that Willow couldn't follow her, not that she hadn't wanted to, of course she had, she'd follow Tara to the ends of the earth and back. Goddess, she even babbled in her head.

"How are you here?" Willow asked again, her fingers lightly tracing her lover's collar bone. "I thought I was dreaming."

"Oh, you were," Tara replied. "You are more powerful then you realise Will."

"But they said I couldn't bring you back," the red head continued. "There was the whole summoning and the yelling and the hurting the death man with my voice…"

"…The death man?" Tara raised an eyebrow.

"You try remembering the names of various demons, Gods and Goddesses when your girlfriend surprises you with…. Well with…" she gestured to her lover. "The not being dead."

Tara sat up and swung her legs off the bed so she had her back to the red head. Willow bit her tongue to prevent her from protesting the loss of warmth, but she realised that Tara was probably just as shocked as she was, she doubted that the brunette had planned the trip back to Earth either.

"They didn't really explain it to me," Tara said after a pause.

"Who?"

"I don't know, the voices that you can hear when you're…" she pointed at the ceiling. "All they said was that there was a force, a woman, on Earth that could destroy the world. Time loses all meaning when you are up there, I'm not even sure how long I've been gone, but I could hear those voices. They reminded me so much of my mother; they sounded so similar to her…"

Her voice trailed off but Willow didn't speak, she knew that Tara wasn't finished and just needed a moment. The red head sat up and spooned the brunette, her legs resting on either side of her lover with her toes barely reaching the floor.

"They gave me a choice," she continued. "They said I could stay with them, in the place where I was floating, where there was no pain, nothing for me to do but just be. It was the most freeing and wonderful experience."

"Oh…"

Tara could instantly detect the hurt in Willow's voice and almost on instinct she turned and wrapped her arms around the red head. Suddenly they were lying on the bed again and Tara whispered the last words against Willow's forehead. "But it was still hell for me darling, because you weren't there."

Tears began to leak from the red heads eyes. Tara dutifully kissed each one before it could make any tracks down her beautiful face and held her so close there wasn't space for a molecule of air between them. They didn't speak but they didn't need to.

For the first time since Tara's death Willow felt like the world didn't matter. She felt like she could fly, sore through the clouds, hand in hand with the woman she loved. For the first time in three weeks she closed her eyes and wasn't afraid of what was lying in the dark. She could sleep with the certainty that Tara would be there when she woke up in the morning. Willow didn't know how she knew, but there was a feeling, a wonderful feeling, that told her that the brunette was here to stay.

"I love you Tara, I never told you often enough. There was so much I didn't say, like how much I love you. I need you baby, always and forever. Did I mention I love you?" Willow babbled against Tara's chest.

She felt rather than saw Tara grin. "You may have, once or twice. I love you, my Willow tree."

For the first time in three weeks Willow fell asleep without the pain in her heart.


	2. I kissed a girl

_Background: Set at the end of 'New Moon Rising' when Willow goes to Tara with the extra flamey candle._

_Warning: mild sexiness, but who doesn't love that? XD_

I kissed a girl

Willow Rosenberg paced outside of the dorm room with a lit candle in her hands. Her face was creased with her brow furrowed and she looked thoroughly confused. Twice she put the candle on the floor next to the door and turned to walk away, only to shake her arms in frustration, go back, pick up the candle and continue to pace.

The events of the day had been weird – even by Sunnydale standards, and Willow had faced voice stealing skeletons and swimmers turned fish via fishy steroids. She remembered the look on Buffy's face only a few hours earlier, how shocked she'd looked.

"I'm not so different..." she glanced at the door. "Coward maybe, but not different."

She put the candle on the floor again but didn't go to leave. Then she ran her fingers through her short red hair. Then she picked the candle back up, clamped her tongue between her teeth and rapped three times on the dorm room door.

There was a heart stopping pause where the red heads stomach tied itself into knots and flip over several times. Eventually there was a click and the door opened. It happened in slow motion, and the entire world around her muted as Tara came into view. Her eyes were red as though she'd been crying and the sight broke Willow's heart. The red head's eyes flicked over the brunettes shoulder and then they come back to Tara's.

"No candles?" she said with a small smile. "Well I brought one – it's extra flamey."

Willow paused and watched the way Tara tensed and tears pool in her eyes. It was obvious from the way that she moved that she was preparing for bad news, worse – she was expecting bad news. When she moved aside to let the smaller girl inside but didn't reply to her small joke Willow's smile faded.

"Tara, I have to tell you that…" she began.

"I understand," the brunette interrupted, not ready to hear what she was sure Willow was about to say. She was determined to be the good guy, even if every fibre of her being was screaming at her to screw making other people happy, grab the girl, and grab the girl now. "You have to be with the person you l…love." Damn.

There was a look in Tara's eyes that made Willow reply without even hesitating. "I am."

The brunettes eyes widened in shock and innocent hope. A pleased smile appeared on Willow's face, it was so cute the way Tara was looking at her. All she wanted to do was wrap the timid girl into her arms, but she made herself stay put. 'I'm such a coward' she thought, mentally palming her forehead.

"You mean…?" Tara stammered.

Willow nodded. "I mean."

A small smile pulled at the corners of the brunettes mouth, it made the red heads heart swell – because she was the cause of that smile, it was all for her. She returned the smile shyly. "Okay?"

Tara swallowed hard and nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes."

The small red head's chest began to rise and fall faster but she had something she needed to say before. She couldn't continue without Tara knowing it. "I feel horrible about everything  
>I put you through," she started. There was a visual change in her expression as her thoughts moved from apologises to other, more interesting thoughts. "I'm going make it up to you; starting right now." She punctuated each word of the last sentence with a step forward and closed the door behind her. It left the two girls in the room, lit only by the flickering candle.<p>

Willow couldn't help but giggle when she noticed that Tara had started to hyperventilate slightly. "R…right now?"

A small smile played on the red heads lips as she held the candle out. The longer practising Wicca mirrored her, keeping her eyes trained on the green orbs of the woman she loved. With one delicate hand she took the candle and with a coy smirk, blew it out.

The dim room was plunged into utter darkness but the girls didn't need to see, they could feel each other from across distances with little problem. It was this skill that brought them together in the gloom – a mass tangle of limbs and clothing. At first Willow felt awkward and clumsy, fumbling forward and tangling her fingers in the hair at the base of Tara's neck, but though the red head couldn't see it Tara was wearing an expression that could only say that she didn't care just so long as Willow was there – with her.

Tara didn't push, she let Willow explore her face, neck and shoulders lightly with her fingers but she was defiantly feeling giddy from the touch. Part of her mind was overflowing with the desire to take the smaller girl, but the other – more… rational side said that she needed to let the red head become comfortable. There was no doubt in Tara's mind anymore that Willow wanted to be here, with her, however she was all too aware that she was the first girl that the red head had ever been with – so she would wait.

She didn't have to wait long however when Willow's touches became more forceful. There was a light brushing of warmth over her mouth that almost made her swoon and fall straight the floor right then and there, but when Willow's mouth connected fully, full of passion and lust, she couldn't help but take a step backwards – pulling the red head with her.

They moved together across the room and fell onto the bed; Tara lying with her eyes closed on the bottom with Willow nestled comfortably on top. The brunette was all too happy to let Willow control the situation as each kiss set her body a light – something she hadn't felt since before her mother died. The red heads fingers made trails of fire blazing across Tara's bare skin.

"Tara…" Willow mumbled, refusing to remove her lips for a second. "I love you."

The taller witch almost let go then and there. Her heart began to flutter uncontrollably to the point where Willow prised her lips away in order to press her ear to the brunette's chest. She grinned evilly in the darkness. "Can we play a game?"

"W…what kind of g…game?" Tara stammered, not through nervousness, but rather through the left over feeling from Willow's mouth and all the things it was doing to her stomach.

The red head moved her fingers up Tara's side and listened as she controlled the speed of her soul-mates heart. It slowed with the touch, which was more one of comfort than one of lust, but when she moved it across the brunette's chest and traced the lining of her bra under her shirt Tara's heart picked up again - the sound made Willow giggle.

Tara's heart beat faster when the red head laughed. "God Willow," she groaned, throwing her forearm across her eyes and biting her lip. "You n…need to stop that… oh no, ignore me, keep g…going."

She gave up with holding back her feelings when Willow began to suck at her collar bone. The kiss alone sent Tara's heart into overdrive which Willow could feel with her hand that was now travelling under the brunette's shirt and across her stomach. "What was that sweetie? You want me to stop?" she grinned innocently.

If Willow had been able to see her, she would have seen Tara's arm lift from her eyes and there be such a look of 'just try it' penetrate her. She could feel what she meant though through the brunette's body movements. The red head's fingers played with the edge of Tara's bra but didn't go any further.

Tara could sense Willows sudden uneasiness and immediately her maternal side took over and she sat up, causing the red head's head to slide out of her shirt. She got her heart beat and feelings under control and then pulled her lover up the bed so she could spoon her. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready for," she whispered into Willow's ear.

The sensation made the red head shudder and she snuggled herself closer into Tara's warm frame. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising? I'm just happy you're here," she replied softly.

There was a moment of silence and the girls just soaked in the feeling of being together. Nothing could touch them here. "I am you know," Willow said quietly.

Tara raised an eyebrow in confusion, but then a memory faded into existence and a warm smile spread over her face. "What?"

"Yours," Willow continued.

The brunette kissed the girl's shoulder and positioned herself comfortably in the crook of the small girl's neck. "I love you too," she sighed, suddenly feeling very relaxed and tired.

Willow's heart began to beat rapidly, and it made both of the girls smile sleepily before they let themselves go in each other and drifted off into a dreamless sleep – because reality was finally better than anything their subconscious could imagine.


End file.
